Author Archives: spoilersbelow

About spoilersbelow

A librarian with a few typewriters.

My Little Psychochronography

It is 1995, and I am recovering from surgery. My mother noticed a strange bump on my upper stomach, and a trip to the doctor confirmed it as an epigastric hernia, a term which I will remember because I will … Continue reading

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Coming up with dismissive criticism is really easy.

Really, really easy. “Oh, great, more Morbius. It is another comic about a guy in a pith helmet hanging around a bunch of Herge rejects against a solid parallelogram of color with a ton of squiggly black lines drawn on … Continue reading

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People Who Are Hard to Trust

-People with more than one neck tattoo -People who wear sweatpants tucked into combat boots -Anyone wearing a t-shirt from a religious rally that happened more than 10 years ago -Anyone who needs change for a $50 -Panhandlers who want … Continue reading

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I sometimes feel bad about the state of newspapers, and get very nostalgic. I am a person who still uses a typewriter regularly, after all. Then I actually pick one up: rewritten AP stories I’ve already read online, and poorly … Continue reading

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The Beloit College Mindset List for the Class of 1916

1. People have always died in car crashes 2. New York has always been a single city. 3. America has always controlled Hawaii and Guam 4. They have always lived in a world where Radium’s existence was known 5. Standard … Continue reading

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Pithy Analogies/similes/adjectival phrases:

…like someone who’d rather be ironically reading a beaten RA Salvatore paperback……the kind of person who puts mayonnaise on French fries and won’t shut up about it……like a wounded panther finally getting to eat the hunter’s orphan child……with the agility … Continue reading

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I feel bad about still going to Starbucks, when a new local coffee shop opened up in town. However, the new shop is out of my way, and the food there is terrible. Hot chocolate ought not to taste like … Continue reading

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